Jesus Bob & a dog called Alan

Just a little wordplay playfulness....

Robert, or Bob as he preferred to be known

Was enthralled in a daydream

A world of his own

Bob's daydream was to do with the fog 

Bob was out walking, walking his dog - 

It was so thick - not the dog

The dog was quite bright

The fog, the fog that night 

The fog was so thick

Bob felt the fog 

He felt, it was the thickest foggiest fog he had ever seen

And then he thought of cleaning it 

With a can of Mr Sheen

Suddenly Bobs daydream was over....

Devine intervention in the form of a lurch

Now Bob and his dog stood outside the church

The church that Bob walked passed each day 

On his way - to the tyre shop

Where Bob would stop 

For what seemed like an eternity - 

Which in reality - was only eight hours - really

Bob hated it - the tyre shop - not the church

He liked the church -

Could do with a lick of paint though he thought to himself

Bob imagined spraying it - not the church - the church notice board

With his can of Mr Sheen

In the world of our reality

He just wiped it nice and clean - with the sleeve from his coat

And as he peered through cloudy perspex 

He saw the words the vicar wrote

'Holy Communions - Blessings - Absolving people of their sins

We do it all - So come on in'

'Also, we could really do with a Handyman'

Jesus! 

Bob shouted at his dog - who's name wasn't really Jesus

The dog was called Alan 

Bob, did not use that name 

And in the eighteen months that had just past - 

Jesus was to blame 

For one broken wrist 

Which came from the twist - of his lead

There was the nose bleed - the nose bleed 

The one that would not stop

Then there was the other time 

That Jesus bit a cop

Constant pains, now lived in Bobs shoulder

And even now - now Jesus was older

He would still lurch - like just then

When he lurched to the church

Just then in the fog

Jesus, Alan

You good for nothing dog 

Bob looked sternly down at his hound

Who in turn just dismissed Bob

And looked straight at the ground - up

Piece of what looked like three-day old kebab

Might as well eat it I suppose thought Jesus - 

Sorry I mean Alan

Jesus - Alan, wasn't sure of his own name

But to leave a kebab, just three days old 

Would be a dreadful shame

So he eat it - and ignored Bob 

Bob woke up, the day was clear

Approached the kitchen door with fear

Of what he'd find, left behind

From last nights walk

Jesus - Bob 

We really must talk - said Bobs wife

This just can't go on - it's completely wrong

I know, I'm sorry

It's one hell of a pong - replied Bob

Who didn't know what else to say

Then hastily left to start his day

At the tyre shop

For what would seem like an eternity - 

Which in reality - was only eight hours – really

But you already know that.

On passing the Church - St Johns was its name

Bob dreaded his day and felt just the same

As yesterday, the day before that

Could this really be it

The place he was at

In his life -

Upset wife

A dog that caused nothing but strife

And a job he did not want

Did not wish for, did not like

Unrewarding, unfulfilling

Jesus Bob

Take a new beginning……

From the 'Lunatics & Space Age Watches' collection