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Stephen Jaques
An Accidental Author


No-brainer
I started writing The Barn Door Stayed Closed the day after the October Budget. Agricultural Property Relief, capped. Perhaps not big news to the urban occupants of the country. But for rural communities, well, that's a different matter. I was fuming. Angry enough that Alex, a boy on a farm, arrived almost immediately. And what I saw was tragedy. A few weeks in, the reports started. Real farmers facing the impossible choices my fictional family was facing. That stopped me. It

Stephen Jaques
2 hours ago2 min read


The Barn Door Stayed Closed - Chapter One
Eight Months Earlier The blackbird always sings twice. That’s what Grandad learned me, and Grandad’s never wrong about farming stuff. First song means get your boots on; second song means you’re late. I ain’t heard either song yet, but I’m already in the yard, my breath making clouds in the March dark, waiting to beat him to the lambing shed. My wellies leave marks in the frost. I try walking heel-first like Grandad showed me, proper quiet-like. “That’s how real farmers walk,

Stephen Jaques
1 day ago9 min read


THE STRONGEST PULL
In June 2025 I gave notice at work. I was a support worker. Had been for years. The day-to-day reality of that role — and I mean the actual reality, not the version that looks good on a job description — was spending my working days and sometimes my nights alongside some of the most vulnerable people you'll encounter. People with housing needs. People in need of housing. Addiction needs. Mental health needs. People quite literally on the street. People in crisis at two in the

Stephen Jaques
1 day ago4 min read


Suspended
Clacton County High School. A typical day for me in 1982. Perhaps a Generation X thing. Perhaps still ongoing for the kids who operate differently. I just so didn't want to be there. I think the feeling was mutual. From the Lunatics & Space Age Watches collection. Daydream - They scream Sit now in the dock Teacher - Preacher Oversees the flock Daydream – They scream Snap back from the joy Teacher - Preacher Stupid little boy Daydream – They scream Everyone in shock Teacher -

Stephen Jaques
1 day ago1 min read


Lunatics & Space Age Watches
Why use a thousand words when eleven will do..... Lunatics & Space Age Watches. Can’t we just be the same?

Stephen Jaques
1 day ago1 min read


Number Eleven
Number 11 Hi kids — Here's a quick question Go and ask your mum Why is number eleven Not called onety-one? Go on then. Off you go. 'Lunatics & Space Age Watches' collection.

Stephen Jaques
2 days ago1 min read


The Tramps IQ
I’ll save a life this morning The value that of mine Your suit, my rags Blend into one Arrival just in time The fate that it’s my doorway That you pass by each day Sip from your cup Don’t look down Just look the other way So here we are, you’re ninety-nine. But I’m infinity. This CPR. Through rotten teeth. You’ll live because of me....... From the 'Lunatics & Space Age Watches' collection

Stephen Jaques
3 days ago1 min read
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